I Asked God for a Boyfriend... and Promised to "Give Him Back" (Oops?)

Ever fasted and prayed for a boyfriend like your life depended on it? Here's my honest (and slightly chaotic) journey of asking God for a relationship, and what it really means to give it back to Him.

The Day I Fasted for a Boyfriend (And Thought I Was a Spiritual Giant)

Let’s rewind to a slightly cringey (but very sincere) chapter of my life. I was single, hormonal, and emotionally fragile in the way that only someone deep in a romantic drought can be.

I wasn’t asking God for a Lamborghini, or fame, or a private island. I was just asking for a boyfriend. A decent one. Maybe a little taller than me, with good teeth and slightly above-average emotional intelligence. Not too much to ask, right?

So I decided to go full Hannah-mode.

The Hannah Story That Inspired My Love Life (Spoiler: It Was About a Child, Not a Man)

I came across the story in 1 Samuel 1: Hannah, heartbroken and barren, prays for a child. She tells God, “If You give me a son, I’ll give him back to You.” And God does. And she does. She literally gives her miracle baby, Samuel, to the Lord, dedicating him to serve in the temple for the rest of his life.

At that time, this inspired me deeply. I was like:

“Yes, God. Give me a boyfriend. I, too, will give him back to You.”

I said it with all the reverence of a Christian Netflix heroine.
But...what does that actually mean?

What Does “Giving Him Back to God” Actually Mean?

Turns out, “giving him back to God” is not a poetic line to seal your prayer request. It’s a real thing. A costly thing. A beautiful thing. And it’s kind of terrifying when you think about it.

Here’s what I’ve learned it means:

1. He’s Not Yours to Control

You don’t get to manipulate his spiritual life like a Sims character.
You don’t get to play Holy Spirit Jr.
You don’t get to force him to do morning devotionals with you if he's not ready.

Giving him back to God means letting go of the illusion of control. Even over his pace, his wounds, his calling.

2. Your Relationship Isn’t Your Identity

You don’t get to worship the idea of “us” more than you worship the God who brought you together.
Giving him back to God means: if he becomes an idol in your heart, you surrender that.
If God asks for the relationship itself - like Abraham and Isaac - you say yes. Oof. That’s not cute rom-com material. That’s deep.

3. You Love Him as a Steward, Not an Owner

You love with open hands. You cheer him on in his calling, even if it leads to hard seasons.
You pray for him like you’d pray for a brother in Christ, not just a boyfriend who better text back in 5 minutes.

4. It Might Be for a Season... or a Lifetime

Hannah didn’t know how long she’d get with Samuel before dedicating him. When I told God I’d give my future boyfriend back to Him, I didn’t know if that meant:

He’d be a missionary and I’d have to be okay with Zoom dates
He’d be taken away to grow in solitude
Or, plot twist...I’d have to let go entirely

Sometimes, the most romantic thing is letting someone walk into their calling, even if it’s not with you.

What I Didn’t Realize Back Then

Back when I fasted and prayed with all the emotional intensity of a Hallmark heroine in a Christmas movie, I really thought I was doing something deeply spiritual. And in a way, I was. But I was also doing what many of us do: treating God like a divine vending machine. Insert prayer, add fasting, press "boyfriend," and out pops Mr. Tall-Dark-and-Spiritual, right?

What I didn’t realize was that my prayer had more to do with me than with God. I wasn’t actually trying to surrender, I was trying to secure. I thought if I sounded holy enough (“Lord, I will give him back to You”), maybe I’d get what I wanted faster. I didn’t know that God listens more to the posture of our hearts than the poetry of our words.

Surrender, real surrender, doesn’t come with fine print. It doesn’t say, “I’ll give him back... but only after we’ve had a cute Pinterest-worthy wedding and maybe a dog.” It means laying the desire down, for real, and trusting that if God answers that prayer, it’s for His glory, not just my comfort.

I also didn’t realize that asking for a relationship while promising to "give it back" doesn’t guarantee a fairytale ending. Sometimes, God does give you the person, but asks you to wait. Or grow. Or let go. Sometimes He gives you clarity that this person was only meant to pass through your life, not stay. And that’s still an answer, even if it’s not the one your romanticized prayer journal had in mind.

The beauty of God is that He meets us in our immaturity and doesn’t shame us for it. He takes those dramatic, desperate, sincere, and slightly manipulative prayers - and instead of rejecting us, He gently teaches us what surrender actually looks like. Not as punishment, but as preparation. Because He’s not just interested in giving us a relationship. He’s interested in making us whole.

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So...Did I Get a Boyfriend?

Short answer: Yes. Eventually.
Long answer: That’s a testimony for another blog post. 😏
But here’s what I’ll say: the deeper the surrender, the freer the relationship.
When you trust God with the relationship, you’re no longer obsessed with whether it “works out.”
You just enjoy the fruit of obedience and grace.

Final Thoughts: Be Careful What You Promise (But Also... Not That Careful)

I don’t regret that prayer. Even if I didn’t fully understand it, God did.
He took my immature offering and turned it into something beautiful.

So, if you’re in that place - aching for love, fasting for romance, whispering spiritual-sounding vows - here’s my advice:
Pray big.
Promise sincerely.
Surrender daily.

But maybe...don’t be surprised when God actually holds you to it.

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✨ FAQ

Q: Is it okay to ask God for a boyfriend?

A: Yes, it’s absolutely okay to ask God for a boyfriend. God cares about every area of your life, including your desire for love and companionship. The Bible encourages us to “cast all your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7). As long as your prayer comes from a place of honest dependence rather than entitlement, it’s not only allowed, it’s relational and beautiful.

That said, God’s responses aren’t always instant or packaged how we imagine. Asking Him for a boyfriend isn’t a magic formula, and He may use the waiting to shape your heart, grow your trust, or redirect your desires. Sometimes, He answers our prayers by first changing us. So yes, bring your longing to Him. But be prepared for Him to write a better (and possibly unexpected) story than the one you had in mind.

Q: How do I know God is preparing me for a relationship?

A: You may know God is preparing you for a relationship when He starts refining your character, healing old wounds, and drawing you closer to Him in wholeness and identity. Often, this season includes learning to love without idolizing, developing spiritual maturity, and becoming emotionally available in a way that honors both God and future partnership.

But it might not look glamorous, it could feel like pruning, purging, or prolonged silence. Don’t assume nothing’s happening just because you’re not dating yet. God may be building your foundation, breaking unhealthy patterns, and anchoring your worth in Him so that when love comes, you’re ready, not desperate. Preparation is rarely loud, but it’s always intentional.

Q: How do you know if God approves your relationship?

A: You can often tell God approves of a relationship when it leads both people closer to Him, aligns with His Word, and bears good fruit like peace, growth, and mutual respect. A God-honouring relationship won’t compromise your convictions or call you into confusion (1 Corinthians 14:33). Instead, it’ll encourage obedience, not just attraction.

Still, spiritual peace doesn’t always mean emotional comfort. Sometimes, a God-approved relationship stretches you, refines your character, or challenges your selfishness. The key? Stay prayerful, seek wise counsel, and hold the relationship with open hands. If God is truly at the center, you won’t have to force it. You’ll be able to follow it, with clarity and peace in your spirit.

✨ Relevant Reads

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💬 Let’s Talk:

Have you ever prayed a “deal” prayer to God, especially about love?
What does surrender look like in your season?

Share your thoughts or testimony in the comments below.
Let’s encourage one another honestly (and maybe laugh a little at our dramatic prayers, too).

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